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The Art of Audio #9: "The Christmas I Saved Macy's"

The Joe Bev
Experience

The Art of Audio #9

"The Christmas I Saved Macy's"

I have told many holiday stories on radio over the years. (You can hear many of them on the bottom of this column today.) But the story I get the most requests for is this one I wrote and voiced, which aired on National Public Radio stations in December 2007. (See if you can find the mistake!)

The smell of cotton candy always makes me think of Christmas. It takes me back to the holiday season of 1964. I was three years old, Christmas shopping with my mom at Bamberger's department store in Newark, New Jersey.

Listen to "The Christmas I Saved Macy's"

The store was founded in 1893 by Louis Bamberger, and the building, which was erected in 1912, had a big clock on it. Unlike the sprawling malls of today, Bamberger's took up the entire building and sold everything from ladies underwear to model homes. 

In 1929, Bamberger's was purchased by R.H. Macy Co. of New York City, but it wasn't until 1986 that the name was changed to Macy's when they went national.

Today, there are Macy's across the country, eight of them within driving distance of my home in Napanoch. The store in the Galleria Mall in Middletown (NY) only became a Macy's this year.

My first Beatles album
bought in downtown Newark, NJ - 1964

And you can thank me for it. That's right. The same year The Beatles invaded America, I saved Bamberger's, so if it were not for me, the Macy's we know today may not have existed.

My mom had brought me to downtown Newark so I could see my dad, who was a policeman, directing traffic, white gloves and all, at the intersection of Market and Halsey Streets, where Bamberger's was located.

My black Buster Brown shoes lifted off the sidewalk, as we passed the animated outdoor window displays of Santa and his elves in their workshop, my mom clutching my hand and shoving me through the revolving door into a sea of legs scurrying frantically around me.

In 1964, nearly every kid wore Buster Browns!

After a nondescript visit with Santa, my mom took me into a world I had before never seen—the ladies lounge. It was a handsome place with real wood paneling, glass ashtrays on ornate brass stands and leather chairs in which sat seven or eight Jackie Kennedy look-alikes, wearing pillbox hats, half-jackets and white gloves. They had all kicked off their spiked healed shoes and were rubbing their stockinged feet in between puffs of their cigarettes. A sea of smoke floated above.

My mom sat down, lit up a Marlboro and kicked off her spikes, as I occupied myself by sitting on the carpet and pretending all those shoes were racing cars. 

Suddenly, I heard a woman scream. I looked up and saw flames coming out of one of the ashtray stands. The woman kicked over the stand and jumped up onto her leather chair. Now the carpet was on fire, too. All the woman screamed and jumped up.

A few years earlier, I wasn't so brave!

“Somebody put it out!” urged one woman.

“I can't! I don't have my shoes on!” replied another.

“Me either!” added a third.

I actually do not remember what my mother was doing at this moment, but I do remember the woman who pointed to me as she suggested, “Get that kid to do it! He's got shoes on!”

I stood up and quickly stamped out the fire. To shouts of “Thank God” and sighs of relief, the women descended upon me, lifted me up and passed me around the room while they hugged and kissed me. 

Then, the woman who had suggested my act of heroism picked me up, kissed my cheek and smiled. 

Her makeup smelled just like a delicious cotton candy.

  

 

MORE OF MY CHRISTMAS STORIES:

Buy my NEWEST Christmas stories!

Listen to "The Joe Bev Holiday Treat"

 

Listen to "Rockabilly Christmas" with Ray Campi

Listen to "The Cartoon Carnival Christmas Party"

Listen to"The Misadventures of
Sherlock Holmes" Christmas Special

Buy all 10 half-hours of
"The Misadventures of Sherlock Holmes"

Best to you all,

Joe Bev.

Joe Bevilacqua is a veteran award-winning actor, writer, author and producer. His audio is available at Amazon, iTunes, and Audible for Kindle, Blackberry, Android, iPhone, iPod or iPad download, or CD purchase or rental. Find out more!

FREE AUDIO - DAY 12 - CELEBRATE the 12 days of Christmas with Waterlogg Prod.

HAPPY CHRISTMAS !!!!!

Did you get a new Smart Phone, Blackberry, Android, iPhone, iPod or iPad
and you want to download something onto them NOW? 
Well...  listen to our last free Christmas Story...

 

BUY THIS TITLE ON AMAZON

BUY THIS TITLE ON AMAZON

Enjoy Christmas with the family...

We are posting each Pedro story for free
for the 12 days before Christmas. 

 

12th DAY: "Balloon Acrobatics"  A contest of bugs and balloons.

(click to hear the free audio)  12 of 12

 Visit Santa at the North Pole, witness the birth of Baby Jesus, go inside Noah's Ark and more - with these 12 timeless short stories, by noted Spanish children's author Pedro Pablo Sacristan. They'll charm and entertain your whole family! Produced with wonderful sound effects and music by veteran radio-theater producer Joe Bevilacqua, and performed by husband and wife team Joe Bevilacqua and Lorie Kellogg. 

Christmas stories include: "The Best Choice", "A Forced Christmas", "Bula the Traveler", "Christmas Presents", "The Please-o-Meter", and "The Little Christmas Star." There are also the stories "The Tidy Toys", "The Match and the Toy Men", "Problems on the Ark", "A Colorful Head", "A Drop of Water", and "Balloon Acrobatics".

AUDIOBOOK REVIEW: Pedro Pablo Sacristan is back with yet another collection of Spanish stories for children, translated into English. And just in time for the holidays, this collection includes 12 whimsical stories with a Christmas theme. This is my third Sacristan anthology and I have to say that I have enjoyed them all very much. Sacristan's stories are written in a simple style that children will love. And parents will love the important life lessons their children will gain from these tales.  Audiobook Reviews from Audiobook-Heaven
©2011 Pedro Pablo Sacristan (P)2011 Pedro Pablo Sacristan, Joe Bevilacqua

FREE AUDIO - DAY 11 - CELEBRATE the 12 days of Christmas with Waterlogg Prod.

HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVE!!!!!

 

 HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVE!!!!!

BUY THIS TITLE ON AMAZON

BUY THIS TITLE ON AMAZON

Enjoy Christmas with the family...

We are posting each Pedro story for free
for the 12 days before Christmas. 

CLICK HERE FOR TODAY's FREE STORY 

 

the 10th DAY's story was
: "A Drop of Water"
Are you a dirty or a clean drop??

(click to buy)  11 of 12

 Visit Santa at the North Pole, witness the birth of Baby Jesus, go inside Noah's Ark and more - with these 12 timeless short stories, by noted Spanish children's author Pedro Pablo Sacristan. They'll charm and entertain your whole family! Produced with wonderful sound effects and music by veteran radio-theater producer Joe Bevilacqua, and performed by husband and wife team Joe Bevilacqua and Lorie Kellogg. 

Christmas stories include: "The Best Choice", "A Forced Christmas", "Bula the Traveler", "Christmas Presents", "The Please-o-Meter", and "The Little Christmas Star." There are also the stories "The Tidy Toys", "The Match and the Toy Men", "Problems on the Ark", "A Colorful Head", "A Drop of Water", and "Balloon Acrobatics".

AUDIOBOOK REVIEW: Pedro Pablo Sacristan is back with yet another collection of Spanish stories for children, translated into English. And just in time for the holidays, this collection includes 12 whimsical stories with a Christmas theme. This is my third Sacristan anthology and I have to say that I have enjoyed them all very much. Sacristan's stories are written in a simple style that children will love. And parents will love the important life lessons their children will gain from these tales.  Audiobook Reviews from Audiobook-Heaven
©2011 Pedro Pablo Sacristan (P)2011 Pedro Pablo Sacristan, Joe Bevilacqua

The Art of Audio #8: "Liquid Comedy 103"

The Joe Bev
Experience

The Art of Audio #8

"Liquid Comedy 103"

It was 1964. I was 5. Dressed like a cowboy--hat, gun, holster, boots. I follow my mom into Tom's Pork Store in Newark, New Jersey. I kicked the sawdust on the floor as I rushed over to the gumball machine in the corner. I put in a penny, turned the knob and out slid a gumball. I popped it in my mouth and turned.

Kenny Savoy, Tom Giannazzo and me
Listen to one of our "Camp Waterlogg" specials here!

"You cowboy?" another 5 year old near the counter asked me.

"Yup," I proudly replied.

"No. You cry-baby," the kid answered.

That was my first encounter with Tom Giannazzo, the son of the pork store owner, and my oldest friend and a founding member of Liquid Comedy.

More about Tom here.

As Tom put it on Facebook recently:

"Weren't we in the womb together? Seems like it goes back that far. I'm sure my knuckle-prints were all over the yard sticks Mrs. Coughlin (our third grade Catholic school teacher) used on you. Or was it one of the crazy penguins? Mrs. Mango? Maybe it was at the Home for Sons Abused by Italian Fathers (The SAIF House)?"

That is Tom's style of humor. If Jim Folly is Chico and Kenny Savoy is Harpo... then Tom Giannazzo is Groucho! (I guess that makes me Zeppo. Hmm.)

Master Sergeant Tom Giannazzo's
23 Years of Service

In fact, in one of our early sketches, a parody on TV's M*A*S*H called M*A*S*S, took place in a Catholic rectory and Tom played Father Hawkeye in a Groucho voice.

Little did we know at the time that Tom would go on to have a successful 23 year career in the United States Airforce. He traveled the world, ran a TV station on Guam, and was a military advisor to a number a major motion pictures and TV series, including Stargate SG-1,  Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, The Sum of All Fears, and The Perfect Storm.

Tom was interviewed for Stargate SG-1: Bonus Disc 3

Tom knew movies even back in college. In 1978 we spoof Star Wars in our stage show. Ours was Star Wars Tonight, a merging of the blockbuster hit with the then popular TV show Fernwood Tonight, which starred Martin Mull as Barth Gimble and Fred Willard as Jerry Hubbard, the show itself a spoof of The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson.

Liquid Comedy, circa 1979.
Listen to us on XM Radio!

In our version, Tom was Barth Vadar and I was C3PO Hubbard. Tom wore a Darth Vadar mask. I wore a plastic mop pale on my head with a face drawn on it in magic marker. Our R2D2 was a dented metal garbage can with flashing lights attached. Our guest, Baby Irene (played by Kathy Higgins) tap-danced with three legs (the third was stuffed and sowed onto to Kathy's dress and she flipped it back and forth as she proclaimed "tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap".




 

Listen to another of our
"Camp Waterlogg" specials here!

Tom Giannazzo is now semi-retired and living in Florida with his wife and son. I say semi because I keep dragging him back to work! I'm just now planning new weekly broadcasts of The Comedy-O-Rama Hour: "Camp Waterlogg" to premiere Spring 2012.

Tom Giannazzo's Film & TV credits.

You can be sure there will be juicy parts for Tom Giannazzo (the only man I know who can clap with one hand).

Tom may be may earliest friend by not my earliest memory. THAT is a Christmas story--the year I saved Macy's. But you'll have to wait until you tune in next time...




Best to you all,

Joe Bev.

Joe Bevilacqua is a veteran award-winning actor, writer, author and producer. His audio is available at Amazon, iTunes, and Audible for Kindle, Blackberry, Android, iPhone, iPod or iPad download, or CD purchase or rental. Find out more!